The Freedom of Forgiveness

By Rev. JACOB RODRIGUEZ

Out of all life’s challenging issues, forgiveness is one that lingers in society’s shadow. Often misunderstood and seldom given any value, this issue seems more unpopular than ever. Forgiveness for many is like an old book layered with dust and rarely explored. Sure, people know it exists, but they believe that its importance is outdated to say the least. In a world where personal vengeance is heroic and utter hatred is showcased on TV talk shows, to forgive seems a bit weak. Whether in the locker room or the ladies room, stories of payback and revenge have been deemed much more entertaining then those of forgiveness and reconciliation. From the media to our homes, getting even or “settling the score” are what people use to resolve their inner conflict.

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Items related to this article

When You've Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness (Paperback)
by Erwin Lutzer

Review From the Back Cover
You’ve been wronged.

Have lies have been told about you? Have you been rejected? Maybe you’ve been the victim of abuse. Perhaps it’s a broken promise. Or someone betrayed a confidence. It’s only natural that you would be angry. These wounds cry out for justice! But what if justice isn’t possible this side of heaven? What if the damage can’t be undone? What then?

You have a decision to make.

You can hold on to your anger until your anguish builds a prison of bitterness. In this cage you will live a diminished and pain-filled life. Or you can choose to forgive. Erwin Lutzer discusses dealing with difficult people such as “spear throwers” and “destroyers,” as well as handling conflict among family members and Christians in the courtroom. In this concise, quickly read volume, you’ll learn how to move from bitterness to blessing. By choosing forgiveness you are choosing abundant life. It’s a decision you can make today!

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Understandably, there are many who have valid reasons to seek revenge, but can retribution truly heal a hurting heart? Can living an unforgiving life give a person real peace? According to the Bible - our living compass - forgiveness is the only way to experience freedom from hurt. It has the power to heal a wounded heart.

Forgiveness is hard, but living with an unforgiving heart is even more difficult. Each of us carries our own experiences of pain as well as encounters with the swords of people’s words or actions. No matter where we live or who we are, we have all been pierced to some degree.

Every human being has been misused, betrayed, beguiled or hurt and will at some point again face trouble and strife. Whether being rudely cut-off while in the grind of rush hour traffic, secretly betrayed by a close friend or previously abandoned by a parent, everyone will be confronted with the issue of forgiveness. Examples may differ, but, forgiving someone for his or her offense remains a clear Biblical principle.

Minor offenses may occur on a daily basis. However, true concern lies with people who chronically harbor bitterness toward others who have committed severe faults and offenses against them. As a result, the hearts of many have become a haven of resentment, aggression and fear. The unforgiving heart will take memories hostage and spend a lifetime trying to sort through them all. People conceal their hurts and fabricate their true feelings. They present their strengths and front their happiness, but hidden beneath that mask lies a heart in ruin.

Unforgiveness Is Like a Poison Destroying the Heart and Mind
Unable to face their anger and confront their embittered issues, people allow and unforgiving attitude to cause much distress with their souls. It is like a poison; destroying the heart and mind. While it is not impossible or irrational, forgiveness is one of the most difficult issues to tackle in one’s heart. The reason for this is because afflicted people believe that they have every reason to loathe their offender. However, by refusing to forgive, one experiences only a temporal feeling of peace, a momentary taste of satisfaction and contentment, and a mere second in the span of time to prove his or her supposed strength and ability to move ahead with life, leaving the offender behind.

Forgiveness is a choice. Depending on how a person chooses can affect the rest of his or her life. There are so many people who have been burdened with an unforgiving heart; a heart that says, “I just can’t forgive him for what he did – I just can’t let it go.” There are those who view forgiveness as an agreement or settlement, but according to the teachings of Christ, forgiveness is not a truce but a pardon. A person is not agreeing; he or she is releasing. Forgiveness benefits the offended one, not the offender. Once forgiveness is given, the problem is given over to God to be handled and the person offering forgiveness is released into freedom. The battle belongs to the Lord and vengeance is His, not ours. The Apostle Peter said, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you.”¹

Having an unforgiving attitude is unhealthy and weighs heavily on one’s heart because it is a burden that was never meant for us to carry. Shouldering pain from the past is spiritually unnatural. We, as human clay are not built with the capacity to foster bitterness. Our minds cannot take it and our hearts cannot hold it; we are simply unfit for such spiritual heaviness.

Forgiveness is God’s Solution For the Scared Soul
No wonder Jesus’ invitation to humanity was presented as, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”² Jesus Christ knows that people are not capable of bearing the weight of past hurts and offenses. He knows that they will suffocate one’s joy and peace. Forgiveness is God’s solution for the scared soul. Bearing the cares of humanity is God’s mastery. He specializes in taking our cares upon Himself.

A very important fact to understand is that forgiveness releases a person from the role of a victim. There is no way to hold an offender hostage in one’s mind. The only one being held captive is the one who is unwilling to offer forgiveness. He or she is kept there by his or her emotions.

Emotions are what imprison a person. The adversary knows this too. That’s why he manipulates a person’s feelings and suggests ideas that draw that person further from forgiveness. He knows that if an individual insists on revenge or simply resists forgiveness, he or she will remain in the victim mentality and will be captive to his or her own demise. A person will live a destructive life of limitation and slavery. Victims, like slaves, can only move where their chains permit and can never reach the height of their potential. The key to freedom is in the offended person’s hand.

Even though forgiveness is best given in person, circumstances (ex. death or relocating) do not always offer a person that chance. One may believe that because the offender is gone then the offense has gone with them. However, in order to release oneself from the bondage of bitterness, forgiveness still needs to be given. The Apostle Paul said of forgiveness that, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”³

The 3 Harmful Harmful Results of Unforgiveness: Bitterness, Blame and Bondage
if one chooses to live with an unforgiving heart, his or her life will be plagued and flooded with the three harmful issues of bitterness, blame and bondage.

Bitterness, without forgiveness will surely infect those who are struck by it. It eats away at one’s heart and life and causes men and women to become emotionally callous and vengeful.
Blame works in the same way as bitterness. It causes vicious cycles of pain and sorrow. “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.”⁴ By repeating the matter and continually blaming the offender, the offense gets larger and larger each time the story is told and a person is never able to find true rest or deal with the reality of the situation. Although it makes one feel for a moment that emotional progress is being made, blame is an inner defense that never solves the problem.
Refusing to forgive is spiritual incarceration or bondage. It is the cause of the victim mentality. There are many men and women who feel that they are forever captive by the actions done against them. They feel that no matter what they do, their destiny and potential are cursed by their past. Many also feel that by not forgiving, they are proving to their past that they are strong and a survivor. However, nothing can replace the power of forgiveness.

Bottomline: If God Can’t Live With An Unforgiving Heart, Neither Can We
To forgive is not to show that you are weak, but that through Christ you are strong. “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”⁴ There are people who believe that they have every right to be angry and unforgiving. They say that their position is valid and that their feelings do not lie. However, according to the Word of God and as stated before, an unwillingness to forgive is not justified by the grounds of a person’s grudge. It will not only bring a person pain, destruction and ultimate spiritual death, but having an unforgiving attitude will also hold one captive in bitterness, blame and bondage. Forgiveness alone brings joy lasting peace and healing to the wounded heart. God Himself had every right, reason and motive to punish the human race. Our stain of sin was reason enough. The condition of humanity was without argue or appeal. Yet, there was no deliberation to convince the Great Judge. He simply forgave us. He pardoned our offense. And His act of forgiveness was nothing short of painful. If God couldn’t live with an unforgiving heart, neither can we.

Jacob Rodriguez is a regular contributer to Inspired Christian.org. He created TrueTouch Ministries to produce Christian products and events that impart truth and impact people’s lives. Have a comment for Jacob? Send email right now!

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