By Rev. MISAEL ZARAGOZA

Church Leaders, Failing Forward

What are you afraid of as a leader? On the top of many people's list is failure. Is it on your list too? J. M. Barrie said, "We are all failures--at least, all the best of us are."

In my 30-plus years of leadership experience, I've come to the conclusion that one of the most valuable but underestimated abilities that leaders can posses is the ability to do what I call "failing forward." It's more than having a good attitude about your mistakes, and it's a step beyond simply taking risks. Failing forward is the ability to get back up after you've been knocked down, learn from your mistake, and move forward in a better direction.

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You see, everybody makes mistakes. But the real difference between average people and achieving people is their PERCEPTION OF and RESPONSE TO failure. Nothing else has the same kind of impact on people's ability to accomplish their dreams. What do you dream of accomplishing? Unfortunately, no matter how gifted or knowledgeable you are, you will make mistakes along the way to your dream. Failure is the price you must pay on the road to success. That's just how it works. But the good news is that the better you are at failing forward, the sooner you can accomplish your dreams.

Before you put away your list of resolutions for the new year, look at the following misconceptions about failure. Take an honest inventory to determine if your perception of failure is what it should be. If you share any of these misconceptions, add to your list the resolution to change the way you think about failure.

1. People Think Failure Is Avoidable. It's Not.
You've probably heard the saying, "To err is human, to forgive divine." That was written by Alexander Pope more than 250 years ago. And he was only paraphrasing a saying that was common 2,000 years ago, during the time of the Romans. Things today are the same as they were then: People make mistakes.

Failure is just like success - it's a day-to-day process, not someplace you arrive one day. Failure is not a one time event, it's how you deal with life along the way. Yes, you will make mistakes, but you can't conclude that you're a failure until you breathe your last breath. Until then, you're still in the process, and there is still time to turn things around for the better.

3. People Think Failure Is Objective. It's Not.
When you forget a meeting, miss a deadline, damage a relationship, or make a poor choice concerning your children, what determines whether that action was a failure? Is it the size of the problem it creates, the amount of money your company loses, or how much criticism you have to endure? No. The truth is that only you are the only person who can label what you do a failure. Failure is subjective. Your perception of and response to your mistakes determine whether they are failures.

According to Tulane University business professor Lisa Amos, entrepreneurs fail in an average of 3.8 business ventures before they finally make it. They aren't deterred by mistakes or adversity because they don't see setbacks as failures. They recognize that three steps forward and two steps back still equals one step forward. Determine to see your mistakes as merely temporary lapses, and start using them as stepping stones to success.

4. People Think failure is The Enemy. It's Not.
Most people try to avoid failure like the plague. They're afraid of it. But it takes adversity to create success. NBA coach Rick Pitino says, "Failure is good. It's fertilizer. Everything I've learned about coaching I've learned from making mistakes."

If you desire to be a high achiever you can't see mistakes as the enemy. Musicologist Eloise Ristad emphasizes that, "when we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel." She's right. Begin to perceive mistakes as opportunities rather than opponents.

5. People Think Failure Is Irreversible. It's Not.
There's an old saying in Texas that goes: "It doesn't matter how much milk you spill as long as you don't lose your cow." In other words, mistakes are not irreversible. The problems come when you see only the "spilled milk" and not the bigger picture.

Tom Peters wisely acknowledged, "If silly things were not done, intelligent things would never happen." When you make a mistake, keep things in perspective. Understand that on the heels of every mistake is a valuable lesson and another opportunity to improve.

Washington Irving once noted, "Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Little minds are subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them." If you tend to focus on the extremes of mistakes and fixate on particular events in your life, make a resolution this year to gain a new perspective on failure. See errors and negative experiences as a regular part of life and determine to learn and grow from them. If you can do that well, you may find that your dreams are much closer than you think.

Making Failure Your Friend

Failure is either your friend or your enemy - and you choose which it is. If you play a dirge every time you fail, then failure will remain your enemy. But if you determine to learn from your failures, you actually benefit from them - and that makes failure your friend.

William Bolitho said, "The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on our gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool."

Anyone can make failure their friend by maintaining a teachable attitude and using a strategy for learning from their mistakes. To turn your losses into profits, ask the following questions every time you face adversity:

1. What Caused The Failure?
You won't learn all you can unless you're willing to find out what went wrong in the first place. Were you in a no-win situation? Is there a certain point when things broke down? Can you pinpoint one central mistake?

After his near death experience on Mount Everest, climber Beck Weathers admitted, "When you're up that far, you get high-altitude stupid."

2. What Successes Are Contained In The Failure?
My friend Warren Wiersbe says, "A realist is an idealist who has gone through the fire and been purified. A skeptic is an idealist who has gone through the fire and been burned." Don't allow the fire of adversity to make you a skeptic. Allow it to purify you.

No matter what kind of adversity you experience, there is always a potential jewel of success contained in it. Sometimes it may be difficult to find. But you can discover it if you're willing to look for it.

3. What Can I Learn From What Happened?
Unfortunately many people react to adversity the same way Peanuts character Charlie Brown does in a comic strip I once read. Charlie is at the beach and has just finished building a beautiful sand castle. But as he stands back to admire his work, his masterpiece is pummeled by a huge wave. Staring at the smooth mound that had been his creation, he says, "There must be a lesson here, but I don't know what it is."

People that approach adversity like Charlie Brown become so consumed by the events that they miss the whole learning experience. But there is always a way to learn from adversity and mistakes. The key is to always maintain a teachable attitude and embrace the idea that Lord Byron once conveyed: "Adversity is the first path to truth."

4. Who Can Help Me With This Issue?
Generally speaking, there are two kinds of learning: experience, which is gained from you own mistakes, and wisdom, which is learned from the mistakes of others. Admiral Hyman Rickover said, "All of us must become better informed. It is necessary for us to learn from others' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself."

As much as possible, glean wisdom from the wise counsel of others. Seek advice, but make sure it's from someone who has successfully handled mistakes or adversities.

5. Where Do I Go From Here?
In their book "Everyone's a Coach," Don Shula and Ken Blanchard state, "Learning is defined as a change in behavior. You haven't learned a thing until you can take action and use it."

When you are able to learn from bad experiences and turn them into something good, you make a major transition in your life. For several years I've taught that people change when they HURT enough that they have to, LEARN enough that they want to, or RECEIVE enough that they are able to. You may have experience with each of those situations. Make sure that they are agents of positive change in your life each time you face them.

Writer Sydney Harris said, "A winner knows how much he still has to learn, even when he is considered an expert by others. A loser wants to be considered an expert by others before he has learned enough to know how little he knows."

Make a new commitment to learn something from every mistake or adverse experience in your life. The lessons are there for the learning. But failure won't reach out and teach you. You must be willing to make failure your friend by seizing the opportunity to learn. God Bless You.

Quotes

"In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season."

"A man is not defeated by his opponents but by himself."

"The price of success is perseverance. The price of failure comes cheaper."

"You always pass failure on the way to success."

"In a boxing match you can lose the first 14 rounds. But all you have to do is nail your opponent in the last ten seconds of the 15th round and you're the world's heavyweight champion."

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Misael Zaragoza is Pastor of the Apostolic Church in National City, Ca. and has served in many positions within the Men's Federation of the Apostolic Assembly of the Faith in Christ Jesus.

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