By ANDREA ANGLADA Is He A Keeper? Ah, dating! A few weeks ago, we asked our readers a multiple-choice question: "How do you know when the first date is the last?" We gave readers five choices: No chemistry Their annoying habits He/She moved too fast Nothing in common Too embarassed to pray for the food Notwithstanding the tongue-in-cheek nature of choices, our poll gave equal weight to all of them. Evidently, this is not an easy question, but it remains a fun one to grapple with, and that is what I plan to do here. However, since the definition of a "date" is so convoluted, especially in Apostolic/Pentecostal churches, this article will address the broader issue of deciding which relationships are worth pursuing, and which ones should be ended yesterday. Before we get started, here are a few important verses to highlight in your Bible and memorize. Going through the dating process without consulting God is not only foolish, but difficult. The sooner we learn that we cannot trust our own judgement, the better! "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33 We Recommend "In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion." - Psalm 71:1 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." - Psalm 84:11 "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him." - Psalm 62:5 Ok. So he likes you. For the sake of this discussion: assume that you are ready to date; he attends your church; he respects you; and, he is single and available. What should you be looking for in this person? Here is my take on the subject - in order of priority: 1. Is He in Love with God? Please do not make the same mistake I have made and confuse church attendance with love for God. While it may seem a reliable proxy, people have varied reasons for church attendance and it is not always what we think. Study this person's behavior during church: is he friendly with the brethren? What does he do during altar call? Does he worship during song service? Does he listen to the preaching? More importantly, study this person's behavior outside of church: does he talk about others? Put down leadership? Tell lewd jokes? What does he listen to, watch, and read? Who are his friends? Prayerfully ask God to help you discern the stability of this person's Christian walk. 2. Do You Respect Him? Although it might ruffle your feathers to acknowledge it, the Bible clearly states that wives must submit to their husbands and that men are the spiritual leaders of a household. Can you submit to this person? Is he somebody you can trust and respect as the leader of your household and father of your children? Ask any Christian marriage counselor and he/she will tell you that the key to a successful love relationship, from a woman's perspective, is that she respect her husband. This guy who likes you may have his dating "resume" in order, but if you do not respect him, you will not submit to him. 3. Is There Chemistry? Does he make you laugh? Think? Does he tease you? Frustrate you? Does he ignite any passion in you? He does not have to be a GQ model to make your heart flutter. If there is chemistry and the above two criteria are met, this guy has potential! 4. What Do You Have in Common? While the first three criteria are imperative, this last point is also important and can make married life easier (so I am told). Do you share your culture? A ministry? Have a similar family background? Education? Although opposites attract, you and he should share some common ground. The reality is that if this relationship progresses to the big "M", you will have to live with him, and it will be easier if you have something in common! So, as you observe this person during the first "date" and ponder his potential, try to keep in mind the points discussed here. These criteria certainly are not exhaustive but they can help to you to focus on what is important - as opposed to how somebody dresses, for example. Remember that God knows the desires of our hearts and He will give us who we need if only we are willing to trust Him. Andrea Anglada wrote this article for Inspired Christian.org and lives in Colorado. More articles in our Youth Bible Lessons section Was this article useful? Send us your comments, staff@inspiredchristian.org. Home | Site News | Reviews | Churches | CyberReading | Bible College Copyright, Inspired Christian.org